auspol

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has blamed the stress of the bonk ban on his most recent drunken Wednesday night antics, which involved him falling off a planter box and swearing loudly into his... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has blamed the prevalence of wind farms in the vicinity of Canberra for the territories increased level of horniness. ”Before all these windfarms, I was a happily married man... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has fumed after his appearance on the ABC’s 7:30 report led to him being asked actual questions by host Sarah Ferguson. ”This is so typical of the inner city, lefty, woke ABC elites,” fumed... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has demanded the Government issue a National apology to victims of the previous Government’s bonk ban. ”A lot of lives were ruined due to the ill-thought through bonk ban,”... Read More ›

Relatives of the world’s last living adult Frank Barnstaple have confirmed that the 93 year old grown up has passed away, leaving the residents of the world frightened and bewildered. “When I was a kid there were adults everywhere making... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Donald Dutton, has warned the nation to be wary of American singer Taylor Swift, after Donald’s news station of choice, Sky News Australia, ran a story on the singer somehow being linked to a plot to destroy... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, is set to appear on the SBS show Who Do You Think You Are, in an effort to track down his roots. ”As you get older you tend to... Read More ›

Australia’s former PM (yep, really), Scott Morrison, has been quietly boasting to all who’ll listen how he has secretly appointed himself 2024’s Australian of the year. ”Scott, err, sorry ScoMo, is genuinely chuffed that he thought of this little scheme,”... Read More ›

With news of his impending retirement those in charge of the Parliament house stationery cupboard have been warned to make sure that former Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, doesn’t clear it out. ”Mixed emotions, I will admit, in announcing that... Read More ›

The ABC has announced that they will offer counselling to all employees after their News Breakfast program was forced to interview a Government Minister instead of their preferred option of an Opposition spokesperson. ”It is indeed a dark day for... Read More ›