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Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has told reporters that he already has plans this weekend to wash his hair, so will be unable to make it to the Garma festival, after being invited by the Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.... Read More ›

Under fire former Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, has called current Opposition leader Peter Dutton to tell him of his plan of how they can win back Government with the signature policy, Robodebt 2 electric boogaloo. ”Scotty is very excited about... Read More ›

Former Australian Prime Minister (yep, really) Scotty from marketing, has taken to the socials to launch his new catch phrase: ”Don’t blame me, I didn’t do it.” ”People have a lot of expectations on a former Prime Minister,” said Scotty... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has followed his predecessors lead and buggered off overseas to avoid questioning over dodgy contract processes he was involved in as head of home affairs whilst in Government. ”Peter Dutton does take stock in... Read More ›

Beleaguered Opposition leader Peter Dutton has defended his time in office as head of home affairs, including his controversial decision to hire death eaters to guard Manus Island. ”My record as head of home affairs was beyond reproach,” cried the... Read More ›

Former Australian Prime Minister (yep, really) Scotty from marketing, has tweeted out to Twitter owner Elon Musk to ask him to give him a call so they can talk about branding and employment opportunities. ”Elon is a bloke with a... Read More ›

Former Australian Prime Minister (yep, really) Tony Abbott has called upon Prime Minister Anthony Albanese to do the right thing, in light of Australia retaining the Ashes via a draw, and knight the English cricket team. ”I know a win... Read More ›

Low rating Australian news and opinion channel Sky News Australia has called for it’s viewers, all 6 of them, to get out and protest Dan Andrews cancellation of the Commonwealth games. ”We need the troops to rally, not only for... Read More ›

Victoria’s supreme leader Dan Andrews has told colleagues that he could walk down Bourke street and shoot dead the Commonwealth games and it wouldn’t lose him any votes. ”Dan is very confident right now, what with having no opposition so... Read More ›

Low rating news and opinion channel Sky News Australia have declared off the back of the Fadden by-election that Opposition leader Peter Dutton will win the next 15 Federal elections and go on to be Australia’s most glorious leader. ”Albo... Read More ›