auspol

Cooking columnist Mark Latham has today been let go by The (un)Australian following some confusion over the term crushed nuts and an unfortunate incident involving an intern. “It’s a bloody stitch up, the recipe said crush nuts so naturally I saw the... Read More ›

When those lefty freaks at The (un)Australian tweeted me to ask if I would write for them you could have knocked me over with a feather as I swore I’d blocked them. But then I got to thinking, you know Mark, the... Read More ›

The Coalition’s lead spokesperson for numerology Susssan Ley has refused to rule out launching a challenge for Peter Dutton’s faltering leadership via a leadership sspill. ”At this stage I have no comment on whether I will challenge Peter to a... Read More ›

The One Nation party has taken time out from hassling overseas lobby groups for cash to speak out against April Fools Day. Claiming the day unfairly targeted their voters with elaborate scams and tricks. “How dare the inner city elite... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has condemned Victorian Premier Dan Andrews over traffic in Melbourne, after his candidate for the upcoming Aston bi-election spent 40 minutes driving from their home in Fitzroy to the electorate. ”What planet does comrade... Read More ›

Perennial election loser, Mark Latham, has blamed the low vote tally of his current party One Nation from the weekend’s NSW state election on the state’s low level of literacy. ”Bloody electoral commission! How dare they expect our voters to... Read More ›

NSW Premier (for now) Dominic Perrotet has told voters to make sure they bring cash when voting in tomorrow’s election as there will be toll booths operating at all voting booths in Western Sydney. ”We didn’t have enough time to... Read More ›

The Australian Electoral Commission has confirmed that busy voters wishing to draw a picture of a cock and balls on their ballot paper will be given an option of ticking a box next to a pre drawn cock and balls.... Read More ›

The Australian Greens have today called for the immediate banning of the traditional Election Day sausage sizzle, declaring that it is highly insensitive to vegetarians and that the phallic nature of the sausage is intimidating to female voters. “For too... Read More ›

With the NSW election on Saturday worried NSW Liberal party members have filed a missing persons report after federal opposition leader Peter Dutton has not been seen in the State since the election was called. ”Albo’s been everywhere with Minns,... Read More ›