Peter Dutton

The Federal Greens Housing Spokesperson and a man who takes his time to walk past a mirror, Max Chandler-Mather, has held a press conference to talk of how flattered he is to learn that last weekend’s Queensland election was allegedly... Read More ›

Low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has taken a moment away from celebrating the LNP’s Queensland election win to discuss how much bigger the win would’ve been had the party moved further right. ”A win is good but you know... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he has been doing the hard yards when it comes to Coalition policy, and will soon be announcing that he plans to convert the controversial, American designed Project 25, to the metric... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has issued a directive to all his underlings to stop talking about criminalising abortion until after they win the next election. ”Though banning abortion is very popular in America and to some elements of the base,... Read More ›

King Charles has spent the weekend in Sydney laying low trying to avoid former Prime Minister Tony Abbott, the man who demoted the King’s Dad from a Prince to a Knight. ”The King was keen to get out and about... Read More ›

Inner West DJ, Anthony ‘Albo’ Albanese, has been forced to move up to the central coast after his trendy inner city suburb of Marrickville become too expensive for him. ”Times are tough you know, the DJ gigs aren’t as plentiful... Read More ›

Opposition leader and Australia’s next Prime Minister according to Sky News, Peter Dutton, has celebrated the news that he has risen in the polls by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”As a politician you work hard and... Read More ›

Coat hanger producers are talking up the prospect of a sales boom in the Australian state of Queensland, should the LNP party form Government following the upcoming election. ”It really is the golden age of coathangers,” said coat hanger manufacturer... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has demanded a revamp of the Australian Maths syllabus to ensure that more emphasis is put on division. ”It is totally unacceptable that the average Australian kid leaves school knowing how to add and multiply but... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has called on the Government to look into the issue of shrinkflation. Namely the shrinkflation he gets whilst swimming. ”Albo’s keen to get out their and tackle shrinkflation, fair... Read More ›