Peter Dutton

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has celebrated his success over the weekend in overtaking Prime Minister Anthony Albanese in the polls by heading to his local pet store and strangling a basket of puppies. ”It’s important that we don’t just dwell... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has launched a nation wide campaign to encourage all Australians to pull out. ”Trust me, I know the consequences of not pulling out,” said the member for New England.... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has delivered a speech over the weekend where he pledged to take Australia back to the good old days by abolishing the metric system. ”People are confused and it’s time the Government acted and abolished this... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, was left fuming yesterday after an Australian journalist dared to ask him when his much feted nuclear policy would be released. After the Dark Lord promised to release the details over 12 weeks ago. ”The journalists... Read More ›

Low rating Sky News Australia host, Paul Murray, not to be confused with low rating Sky News Australia hosts, Chris Kenny or Andrew Bolt, has pledged to deliver personally a reach around to any voter who switches their vote from... Read More ›

The Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has refused to rule out National service in Australia for those aged 40 and under. The move follows UK PM (as of publishing), Rishi Sunak, promising to introduce National service in the UK... Read More ›

The Coalition’s junior member, the National party, have come out today demanding that the Albanese Government bring back leaded petrol. ”What sort of weak minded individual is Albo that he has a problem with lead?” Asked the National’s chief agitator... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has gathered his cabinet colleagues together to tell them the special news that he has taken the shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor, to the country to ‘live’ on a farm. The move follows Taylor’s disastrous... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has angrily snarled at reporters that he will release the details of his nuclear plan the minute that his ”mentor” Gina Rinehart dictates it to him. ”The press in this country need to... Read More ›

The Opposition’s leading proponent of numerology, Sussan Ley, is speculated to this week be considering mounting a challenge to leader Peter Dutton, following the weekends dire polling results for the Coalition. ”We thought with the media going to town and... Read More ›