Opposition leader (till at least Monday), Peter Dutton, has warned voters in the upcoming Dunkley bi-election that if they don’t vote for his candidate then they will be getting a nuclear reactor in their backyard, should the Coalition win the... Read More ›
Peter Dutton
The Coalition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, is away from Parliament on ”sick leave” this week and has taken the opportunity to call for a Royal Commission into day time television. ”It’s a bloody debacle, morning show, shopping... Read More ›
With the impending retirement of the first Politician to hold 5 secret ministries at the same time as being the country’s PM, Scott Morrison, Australian’s are being urged to put out their secret ministries as a sign of respect for... Read More ›
The Liberal party’s deputy leader (yep, really), Sussan Ley, has defended the parties leader Peter Dutton from accusations of lying, declaring that Peter can’t be a liar as his pants are not on fire. ”The press and Mr Albanese like... Read More ›
Australian Opposition leader (for now), Donald Dutton, has told confidantes that the secret to winning the next election is his new found mantra. That it is not a lie, if Sky News or the ABC believes it. ”Dutt’s has been... Read More ›
The Opposition’s shadow Minister for Home Affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to give up (getting caught) drinking for Lent. ”A lot of people make sacrifices for Lent, some give up watching TV, others going to restaurants, for me, I pledge... Read More ›
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has blamed the stress of the bonk ban on his most recent drunken Wednesday night antics, which involved him falling off a planter box and swearing loudly into his... Read More ›
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has blamed the prevalence of wind farms in the vicinity of Canberra for the territories increased level of horniness. ”Before all these windfarms, I was a happily married man... Read More ›
Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has fumed after his appearance on the ABC’s 7:30 report led to him being asked actual questions by host Sarah Ferguson. ”This is so typical of the inner city, lefty, woke ABC elites,” fumed... Read More ›
Tony Abbott, star of the hit ABC show Nemesis, has called upon the Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, to immediately knight King Charles or face being shirt fronted. ”King Charles loves this country and Australians, well at least 6 of us,... Read More ›