Sky News Australia

Sky News Australia’s leading poll expert, Sharri Markson, has told her viewers, all 6 of them, that internal polls leaked to her reveal that the former member for Dickson, Peter Dutton, will be declared Pope at this week’s Conclave. ”I... Read More ›

Low-rating news channel, Sky News Australia, have taken a break from mourning the loss of their idol, Peter Dutton, to wonder how their viewers, all 10 of them, didn’t swing the election in the Coalition’s favour. ”It baffles me, I... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has put his chances of winning the upcoming election in the hands of Sky News Australia’s 10’s of viewers. With Mr Dutton refusing to take any questions from journalists other than those who appear on... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s head cheerleaders, Sky News Australia, have spent the last night trying to link Prime Minister Anthony Albanese with the death of the Pope. ”Can the Prime Minister prove his whereabouts on the night the Pope died?” Asked Sky... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s hand picked shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has seemingly been sidetracked this election campaign. With the member for New England heard to be asking those around him, whose leg he has to hump in order to... Read More ›

Low-rating pay-tv channel, Sky News Australia, has been inexplicably chosen to host the first leader’s debate between Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and Opposition leader Temu Trump. Station bosses are hoping that the debate will help the station break their all-time... Read More ›

Australia’s next PM, according to the Nation’s journalists, as opposed to opinion polls, Peter Dutton, has announced that he will, within his first week of being PM rename the Great Australian Bight, the Great Australian Gina. ”It’s high time we... Read More ›

Gina Rinehart’s hand picked choice for Prime Minister, Dodgy Peter Dutton, is today tipped to launch the Liberal party’s election campaign slogan, ”Policy Free Since ’03.” ”It’s a great slogan that really feeds off of the energy of Kevin ’07... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has urged all Australians to dig deep and give generously to the flood damaged Coalition. Who due to cyclone Alfred have had to cancel many fundraising opportunities. ”This cyclone has hit hard, I haven’t... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Gina Rinehart, has been heard telling colleagues that she views Coalition Senator, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price, the best Senator that money can buy. ”Gina is a big fan of Jacinta and was so happy when her lap dog,... Read More ›