Canberra

Australia’s former PM (yep, really), Scott Morrison, has been quietly boasting to all who’ll listen how he has secretly appointed himself 2024’s Australian of the year. ”Scott, err, sorry ScoMo, is genuinely chuffed that he thought of this little scheme,”... Read More ›

A rise in the polls for Opposition leader Peter Dutton has forced the country to rethink what it would be like should the member for Dixon were to become Prime Minister. For his colleague, the former deputy Prime Minister Barnaby... Read More ›

Opposition leader (LOL) Peter Dutton has said: ”Who?” When asked today about the whereabouts of his shadow Indigenous Affairs minister Jacinta Nampijimpa Price. ”I’m not sure who this Jacinta person is that you are asking about,” said the Opposition leader.... Read More ›

Australians are today being urged to get out their shotguns and put them outside their doors in honor of shadow minister for home affairs Barnaby Joyce’s latest wedding. ”Australian’s love Barnaby and his crazy antics,” said a National Party Insider.... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has followed his predecessors lead and buggered off overseas to avoid questioning over dodgy contract processes he was involved in as head of home affairs whilst in Government. ”Peter Dutton does take stock in... Read More ›

Victoria’s supreme leader Dan Andrews has told colleagues that he could walk down Bourke street and shoot dead the Commonwealth games and it wouldn’t lose him any votes. ”Dan is very confident right now, what with having no opposition so... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has called upon the Albanese Government to appoint former Minister for everything, everywhere, all at once, Scott Morrison, as Governor of the Reserve Bank. ”I don’t want to see some qualified public servant or... Read More ›

The Liberal party has put word out that should their leader Peter Dutton lose the upcoming Fadden by-election, then they will replace him with a pot plant. ”Dutts knows that he needs to pull something out of the bag,” said... Read More ›

Irrelevant Senator Pauline Hanson has promised the World that she will mail her essay against an Indigenous Voice to parliament to every Australian, just as soon as she gets a new pack of crayons. ”The people of Australia will have... Read More ›

Opposition leader Peter Dutton, a man who proudly walked out on the apology to the stolen generation, has called for a sensible debate on the merits of bringing back the white Australia policy. ”Look, I’m not racist but, we need... Read More ›