If not arrested by Friday, Trump said, “I will perform a citizen’s arrest on myself.”
Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report
“What you use your personal money for is your own personal business,” the Speaker of the House said.
“This was a hundred per cent my idea and something I wanted to do,” the Speaker of the House said.
The augmentation was installed earlier this week in order to give the Governor ample time walking at higher elevation.
“This was a waste of a perfectly good balloon,” China’s President, Xi Jinping, reportedly griped.
The new theme park will attract “millions of Americans deprived of their favorite comic strip by the left-wing media Reich,” the Florida governor said.
Some viewers questioned the authenticity of one section of the video, which showed Jimi Hendrix performing “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
“Let them wander Times Square with Elmo,” the Florida Governor said.
“I don’t know how they manage it,” the media mogul said, of inveterate truthtellers. “I’ve told the truth once, and I don’t intend to do it again.”
Speaking to reporters on Capitol Hill, Santos said that he had “no idea” how the Wuhan job wound up on his C.V.