The Day We Argued About Roman Numerals Even now in my mind,that row remains VIVID –I tried to stay CIVILbut you ended up LIVID.
poetry
I’m reading poems at a few literary festivals this year – including ones in Keswick, Guernsey, Wrexham, Tunbridge Wells, Dorchester-on-Thames, Filey and Leek. Here’s a pic which provides an efficient summary of such matters: Next month’s show at Words on the Water has sold out, but tickets are on sale for the other festivals. More info…
Common Peephole She came from Greece,she had a faulty socket.Her eye fell out,she couldn’t stop it. That’s when Icaught her eye.
Morrissey’s Fridge Morrissey was filledwith suddenself-doubt as he shut his fridge door –did the light never go out?
Given it’s World Book Day, I suppose I should mention that I’ve got a new book coming out next month. It’s called ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’: a collection of new poems, which also doubles up as a guide to enjoying and writing poetry. It is not altogether serious. It’s pre-orderable…
This week, Waterstones are offering 25% off all preorders of my new book, ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’, which publishes in April: https://www.waterstones.com/book/how-to-lay-an-egg-with-a-horse-inside/brian-bilston/9781035085729 Alternatively, signed copies are available to order through your local indie bookshop. Waterstones are also promoting 25% off for preorders of the paperback edition of my poetry collection…
Message to the 14-Year-Old Me Believe in yourself.You can do anything you set your heart on –except A level physics, perhaps.Well, all the sciences really. DIY is a bit of a no-no, too.See also: driving; skiing; map reading;cooking pasta in the right quantities;relationships; origami. Don’t even think about runningyour own business. Or singing in tune.Best…
An Attempt to Write an Abecedarian Poem in Praise of the Dictionary An unfaltering ability to Bring clarity to the English language Constitutes your Defining quality. Ever since the day we First met and I Giggled at the rude words Hidden amongst your pages, I adored you, Jubilant in the Knowledge that things were Looking up. You offered me the Meaning of life, Not to mention the meaning of…
Out of Character having noticed one dayhis keyboard was dirty,he reached for the soap sprayand gave it a SQWERTY,before scrubbing away‘til each letter was cleanin ignorant bliss ofhaving wrec ed his machine – for the eys which once wor edno grad ally did notand the more that he ty edthe orse it all gotso that…