Opposition leader (for now), Sussan Ley, has promised to add an extra S to her name in an effort to turn around her shockingly low polling numbers. ”To the people of Australia, I have listened and I have learnt, you... Read More ›
Angus Taylor
Aspiring Opposition leader, Andrew Hastie, has demanded that his Coalition colleagues commit to net-zero Sussan Leys or else he will take his bat and ball and go home. ”As a party we are done for if we don’t commit to... Read More ›
The Coalition’s pick for Australian Mother of the year, Gina Rinehart, has been heard gushing about Coalition MP, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price, describing her as the best politician that money can buy. ”Gina is a big Jacinta fan, she loves anyone... Read More ›
Shadow Treasurer (for now), Ted O’Brien, has arrived to work late today due to managing to get his tie caught in his briefcase, this is the third time this month that this has happened. ”They’re tricky things ties aren’t they?”... Read More ›
Interim Opposition leader and practicing numerologist, Sussan Ley, has held a press conference to condemn the PM’s decision to say good morning, claiming the statement was offensive to both the afternoon and evening. ”Mr Albanese needs to stop seeking to... Read More ›
Australian election result denialists, Sky News, have spent the day ranting and raving over how the Coalition needs to move further to the right, following the release of the first post-election news poll which has the Coalition doing worse than... Read More ›
The Coalition’s so-called potential saviour, Angus Taylor, has spent a harrowing 3 hours trapped in his parliamentary office are confusing push with pull when trying to open the door. ”It’s not the first time that we have had to go... Read More ›
The Liberal party’s next leader (spill pending), Angus Taylor, has defended the party’s new slogan of ‘no girls allowed’. ”Look, our party isn’t stuck in the 50’s we just believe that women have a place,” said Angus. ”And that place... Read More ›
The last election wasn’t the result we were all hoping for, let’s be honest. I’m still stunned that someone as likeable, masculine and, uh, dare I say it, virile as Peter Dutton failed to win over the electorate. Never mind,... Read More ›
Australia’s leading numerologist and as it stands interim leader of the Liberal party, Sussan Ley, has thrown her hat into the ring to become full-time leader by telling colleagues that she will make the party great again by adding an... Read More ›