Sussan Ley

The Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has refused to rule out National service in Australia for those aged 40 and under. The move follows UK PM (as of publishing), Rishi Sunak, promising to introduce National service in the UK... Read More ›

The Opposition’s leading proponent of numerology, Sussan Ley, is speculated to this week be considering mounting a challenge to leader Peter Dutton, following the weekends dire polling results for the Coalition. ”We thought with the media going to town and... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Peter ”Disappearing” Dutton, has sent out an angry missive to journalists reminding them that he does not work weekends. ”Yeah the bloody journo’s need to learn that Pete doesn’t do weekends, or questions,” said a Liberal Party... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now), lil’ Petey Dutton, has chucked an epic tantrum, taking his bat and ball and going home to his room, following his humiliating loss at the weekend’s Dunkley by-election. ”Yeah, Petey is taking this one really hard,”... Read More ›

Advance Australia, an ultra right-wing lobby group run by a collective of billionaires, has made the startling claim that Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, was the actual killer of former US President JFK. ”We have conclusive proof that Albo shot JFK,”... Read More ›

The Liberal party’s deputy leader (yep, really), Sussan Ley, has defended the parties leader Peter Dutton from accusations of lying, declaring that Peter can’t be a liar as his pants are not on fire. ”The press and Mr Albanese like... Read More ›

Niche news channel, Sky News Australia, has thrown a party for it’s staff after receiving the news that their viewership has hit the elusive double digit figures. ”You dream that this day may indeed come, but, until it’s here you... Read More ›

Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has told fans/journalists how he longs for a white Christmas, one in which he can deck the halls with boughs of misogyny, err, holly. ”I am an old fashioned type of bloke and... Read More ›

Opposition leader (LOL) Peter Dutton has said: ”Who?” When asked today about the whereabouts of his shadow Indigenous Affairs minister Jacinta Nampijimpa Price. ”I’m not sure who this Jacinta person is that you are asking about,” said the Opposition leader.... Read More ›

The LNP, fresh off wrecking the Voice referendum has proposed a new referendum on whether to recognise trust fund baby Gina Rinehart as current custodian of the Nation. ”Gina gives us so much and asks for so little in return,”... Read More ›