Barnaby Joyce

The Coalition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, is away from Parliament on ”sick leave” this week and has taken the opportunity to call for a Royal Commission into day time television. ”It’s a bloody debacle, morning show, shopping... Read More ›

The Liberal party’s deputy leader (yep, really), Sussan Ley, has defended the parties leader Peter Dutton from accusations of lying, declaring that Peter can’t be a liar as his pants are not on fire. ”The press and Mr Albanese like... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow Minister for Home Affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to give up (getting caught) drinking for Lent. ”A lot of people make sacrifices for Lent, some give up watching TV, others going to restaurants, for me, I pledge... Read More ›

The sleepy little town of Canberra is bracing itself this week after it was announced that the Opposition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, had been tasked with organising Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s upcoming bucks party. ”It’s an honour... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has blamed the stress of the bonk ban on his most recent drunken Wednesday night antics, which involved him falling off a planter box and swearing loudly into his... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has blamed the prevalence of wind farms in the vicinity of Canberra for the territories increased level of horniness. ”Before all these windfarms, I was a happily married man... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has demanded the Government issue a National apology to victims of the previous Government’s bonk ban. ”A lot of lives were ruined due to the ill-thought through bonk ban,”... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, is set to appear on the SBS show Who Do You Think You Are, in an effort to track down his roots. ”As you get older you tend to... Read More ›

A rise in the polls for Opposition leader Peter Dutton has forced the country to rethink what it would be like should the member for Dixon were to become Prime Minister. For his colleague, the former deputy Prime Minister Barnaby... Read More ›

Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has told fans/journalists how he longs for a white Christmas, one in which he can deck the halls with boughs of misogyny, err, holly. ”I am an old fashioned type of bloke and... Read More ›