Nationals

The member for New England, know for passing out drunk in the streets of Canberra and impregnating a staff member, Barnaby Joyce, has told One Nation and the Nationals to consider him the golden bachelor and start wooing. ”Look, this... Read More ›

Sussan Ley’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has responded to unrest in the Coalition by urging colleagues to consider an open marriage, or perhaps swinging. ”Monogamy is a thing of the past, we need to get out and... Read More ›

Rogue Coalition backbencher, Andrew ‘friend of Gina’ Hastie, has told his friends (Gina), that he quit Sussan Ley’s cabinet after the Liberal leader demanded that he add an extra S to his surname. ”Yeah, people think it was over the... Read More ›

Exiled Liberal, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price, has spoken up in defence of her colleague, Andrew Hastie, after he called unnamed members of the Coalition Muppets. With Senator Price saying that she would have called them worse. ”I feel that Andrew was... Read More ›

Aspiring Opposition leader, Andrew Hastie, has demanded that his Coalition colleagues commit to net-zero Sussan Leys or else he will take his bat and ball and go home. ”As a party we are done for if we don’t commit to... Read More ›

The Coalition have announced today a new policy whereby every Australian will be made to pay a levy, which will cover them in case they offend former Senator Linda Reynolds in anyway in the future. ”A Coalition Government wants to... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told colleagues that he will defy the Coalition and seek to introduce a private member’s bill that will repeal the net zero bonk ban. ”Australians have had a gutful of... Read More ›

The Coalition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told his missus to not wait up for him this weekend as he’s just heading out to a Coldplay concert. ”I’m a big Coldplay fan, I love all their stuff,... Read More ›

The last federal election’s biggest losers, the Coalition, have chucked a massive tanty after being told by the Prime Minister that them losing seats results in losing staff. ”It’s a bloody outrage and I won’t stand for it,” ranted the... Read More ›

Following Opposition leader Sussan Ley’s speech at the National Press Club this week, where she pledged to do all she could to get more women into the Coalition, the shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to get... Read More ›