The member for New England, know for passing out drunk in the streets of Canberra and impregnating a staff member, Barnaby Joyce, has told One Nation and the Nationals to consider him the golden bachelor and start wooing. ”Look, this... Read More ›
Opposition
Shadow treasurer, Ted O’Brien, has told reporters that going forward he would like to be referred to by his new nickname, TeOb. He has also asked reporters to start describing him as a bit of a daggy Dad. ”Now that... Read More ›
Shadow Treasurer (for now), Ted O’Brien, has arrived to work late today due to managing to get his tie caught in his briefcase, this is the third time this month that this has happened. ”They’re tricky things ties aren’t they?”... Read More ›
The Liberal party’s interim leader, Sussan Ley, has started off her term as leader by offering an olive branch to Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, to kiss and make up. However, the gesture has been eroded over an unfortunate choice of... Read More ›
Sussan Ley, Angus Taylor and the other bloke, Dave or Dan, have all thrown their hats in to the ring to challenge for the Liberal leadership. The vacancy arises after former leader, Peter Dutton, was comprehensively thrashed at the last... Read More ›
Australian Opposition leader, Donald Dutton, has reacted angrily to calls to release more polices, screaming at journalists that he will do so as soon as his mentor Donald Trump does. ”The Australian people need to know that I will do... Read More ›
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has refused to rule out making New Zealand the 7th State of Australia and is said to also have his eyes on buying West Timor. ”I said yesterday that I view President Trump as a very... Read More ›
The Opposition’s spokesperson for numerology and using tax payers cash in order to purchase investment properties, Sussan Ley, has denied that it is weird that she added an extra S to her first name. ”Numerology has added so much more... Read More ›
The Opposition leader (as of writing), Peter Dutton, has demanded a national apology from all Australian rape victims to his Senators. ”I understand that rape can be traumatic, Jen Morrison was good enough to drop by the party room and... Read More ›
The Australian Greens have held a sad drum circle today after their offers to Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, to join were strongly rebuffed. ”We thought that after we took Peter’s side against Albo to make sure no new houses were... Read More ›