The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to make it illegal in Australia to sell gingerbread people without baked on genitals, in an effort to combat wokeness. ”I’ve had a bloody gutful, what is... Read More ›
Sunrise
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has demanded that all airlines, but especially Qantas, bring back the mile high club. ”Flying around the country is part of the job, so why am I prevented from... Read More ›
Channel 7 has taken a break from surfing the dark net for sex and drugs to call their favourite son, Bruce Lehrmann, to tell him he won’t be on this year’s Bachelor program but instead will be on SAS Australia.... Read More ›
Beleaguered television network, Channel 7, has today announced that the beloved star of Sunrise the cash cow is to be replaced with the network’s newest star, the drug mule. ”The cash cow has been good for us, but, you know,... Read More ›
Australian Opposition leader (yep,really), Peter Dutton, is tipped to announce this week that fictional character Homer Simpson will be his new nuclear advisor in the run up to the next election. ”Homer Simpson brings a lot to the table,” said... Read More ›
The Coalition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, is away from Parliament on ”sick leave” this week and has taken the opportunity to call for a Royal Commission into day time television. ”It’s a bloody debacle, morning show, shopping... Read More ›
The Opposition’s perpetually outraged leader, Peter Dutton, has demanded a nation wide boycott of stationery supplier Officeworks after discovering that they did not stock Mr Potato Head branded pencil cases. ”This is an outrageous attack on ordinary, everyday working Australians,”... Read More ›
Port Adelaide President David Koch has refused to rule out replacing Port Adelaide Coach Ken Hinkley with the cash cow, now that he has more time to focus on his team following his standing down as Sunrise host. “I’m not... Read More ›