We believed we were capable of anything. We had already used 22,000 bagels to test 280 brands of toasters in North America. We sent twenty-five reporters to forty-five different countries to test six hundred kinds of alarm clocks. We recruited ninety ex-CIA operatives to embed themselves in every city in India to test every last brand of cooling sheet.
But we were also under a lot of pressure. In 2019, when the New York Times increased our budget from $2 million per year to $500 million per year, the stated expectation was that we would subject every product ever created to twelve months of continuous, hard use by poor cooks, over-sleepers, and profuse sweaters. Once, we received a letter from top brass under our door. The letter contained two words: “TIRES. NOW.”