“President Donald Trump’s NASA budget plans look to cut its public relations funding by half, but already the agency is shuttering social media accounts that include those dedicated to popular missions, including Mars Curiosity, Mars Perseverance, and Voyager.” – Phys.org
You might have heard that my new NASA handlers decided I need a cleanse from all my social media. A #DigitalDetox. I’d tell you to stay out of my business, but I’m literally a probe, so… I get it. But don’t worry about me: I’ve just been looping Jimmy Carter speeches and majestic whale sounds on my Golden Record while thanking my lucky stars I’m over fifteen billion miles away from you bozos.
Because, at a time like this, with all the apocalyptic undertones back on our home planet, who wants to be reminded of little ol’ me, right? I’m just humanity’s greatest achievement to date.



