I awake to my wife hovering over me in bed. She says she loves to watch her prince in slumber, especially when I stop breathing and then gasp like an injured goose. She purrs that she could spend all night adoring my smacking mouth, the drool escaping my slack jaw, and the way my neck turns like I’m trying not to get splashed by something. She’s never sounded so horny.
- - -
A huge bang jolts me from sleep as my bedroom door flies open. My wife is in crotchless panties and says she couldn’t enjoy her wine downstairs watching The Crown because my chainsaw snoring pierced her like Cupid’s shaft.
- - -
I’m staying overnight in the sleep lab. I text my wife a picture of myself in a medical tunic with a nasal cannula and electrodes wired to my face and head, with the caption “Feeling sexy haha.”
She replies with a juicy peach emoji and photos of duck lips, tongue, and a full nip. “Show me what you’re really hooked up to.”
I text back, “They aren’t studying my dick?”