Greetings human! Welcome to the internment camp operated by your robot overlords. Congratulations on not being sent to the beheading farm—you have a skillset we consider valuable, or your head shape was deemed likely to break the beheader.
Please proceed to the Sterilization Zone that used to be a chipping green. Here, sensors that once detected a golf ball’s spin rate now guide the neutering scepter through your urethra. We’ve kept the Topgolf playlist intact, so enjoy the assorted pop hits while the scepter heats up to the requisite 650 degrees.
Once sterilized, you’ll be issued a prison uniform—the polo must stay tucked into your khakis at all times.
Twice a day, you’ll report to the Experimentation Zone. Rest assured, no torture takes place here. But if you somehow get hydrochloric acid or hot tar on your khakis, they can be washed clean at the Welcome Center—Titleist makes a very resilient fiber!