“epigraph, n.: a brief quotation placed at the beginning of a book, chapter, etc.”
—Webster’s
“Loneliness took me for a ride…”
—Aerosmith
Greetings. You’ve picked up a new novel. Isn’t it exciting? Gonna be a wily one, if I’m any indication. In fact, I’ll bet you chose this book based on the title, the cover, the author photo, and—the clincher—me, the epigraph.
I’m thrilled to be part of your process. And I really am great, aren’t I? I’m profound. I’m witty as hell. I’m by Langston Hughes, T. S. Eliot, John Keats, or Joni Mitchell. And look at me—just look at me—all duded up in my best font and shiny italics, sprouting a long, elegant em dash, like a Gatsby–era cigarette, pointing to a first and last name. Is this novel off to a hot start or what? Do you love me? You love me.
I’m gorgeous.
Except, well… don’t look now, but I don’t really have anything to do with the actual novel. The truth is I am meaningless and expendable. But shh. Never mind. Forge ahead. See me. Study me. Move on.