Hello, it’s me, your selectively friendly neighborhood preteen, here to solicit some soft-earned pocket money. I’m either Jaden, Jalen, or Jason. You’re pretty sure it’s one of those three names, though probably not the last one because that name feels too 1980s for a kid these days, and, to be fair, you’re right… but also, it is indeed Jason.
Here’s the deal: It snowed last night, as you and I can plainly see. And your walkway has yet to be shoveled, as you and I can plainly see. It’s only a matter of hours, at best, before the HOA comes by to cite you for failure to abide by their ordinances for snow removal. And you’re still in your pajama pants and mismatched grippy socks, as you and I can plainly see.
So go ahead: say no to my offer. I dare you.
I’m only asking for thirty bucks. Is that a scam or a steal? Hey, that’s for you to decide. I’m just an unlicensed, nonprofessional youngster with an inadequate shovel, a mom who says she doesn’t want me sitting around inside all day, and a dream.
So, what do you say? Can I haphazardly shift some snow drifts around your front yard?