“What do you think sunshine tastes like?” La Croix asks on its website and in the marketing materials for the launch of its latest flavor of sparkling water. You won’t be given the chance to guess, because they immediately answer their own question with “The Deliciously Fascinating Taste of WONDER!”
First of all, don’t tell me to ponder a riddle without giving me the time and resources to properly do so. And second, that tagline gets me no closer to a meaningful resolution. I see what you’re doing, La Croix. I’m an advertising professional, and I, too, can weave a mesmerizing chrysalis out of the silky strands of wordy bullshit. What is the texture of memory? What is the smell of regret? If you’re going to ask, let me cook.


