“The moment I saw him charging the steps on January 6, I knew I wanted to rip off his Viking helmet and find out how quickly he could send my body into a constitutional crisis.”
“He had a sharp, strong jawline from years of clenching it every time someone mentioned universal health care.”
“I could tell he was the kind of hunk who wanted to undo my bra—and my rights.”
“A spicy DM from his anti-woke meme account landed in my X inbox. I smirked as Grok replied, ‘Hot. Elon enjoyed reading that.’”
“For our first date, he told me I could pick the spot—anywhere my heart desired, as long as it was a business that had dismantled its DEI policies.”
“His masculine energy radiated, and my body tensed with delight—the exhilaration trickled all the way down, like tax cuts for the wealthy that would benefit me, a mid-tier MLM distributor.”


