Reading

Dining Room

High Top

Even Higher Top

Low Top (normal chairs around a coffee table)

Bar Seating

Outdoor (sidewalk)

Outdoor (back patio)

Outdoor (overgrown garden that’s a breeding ground for mosquitoes)

Table in Striking Distance from Pool Table

The Pool Table

Table in Collision Path of Swinging Door

Doug’s Table (Doug will be joining you)

“The Murder Table”

Table Under AC Vent

Table Over AC Vent

Table Both Under and Over AC Vents

Hostess Table (you will have to seat other patrons)

Table That’s Sopping Wet for Some Reason (not water)

Card Table with Dogs Playing Poker

Table Next to Unsettling Painting of Gruesome French Revolution Battle

Table Under Loud-Ass Speaker

Communal Table

Community Table (Alison Brie was here!)

Table in the Splash Zone

A Table with a Draft from an Open Window (disclaimer: risk of pigeon[s])

A Drafting Table (yes, your food will roll off)

Back Corner Table, and Uh Oh, Your Ex Will Be There Holding a Single Red Rose

Table on Stage During Open Mic Night

- by Aeon Video

Watch at Aeon

- by Denise Winn

Read at Psyche

Of all that I have learned, the most important lesson was how much a human can suffer. When I was twenty five I wound up in the hospital for three months. I spent days screaming, in so much pain that morphine couldn’t handle it. For about a month I couldn’t move enough to even pull myself up in bed without crippling agony. Later my  body decided that every foreign substance was an enemy, and when I was given IV antibiotics, every four hours, I’d spend the next twenty minutes dry heaving, since I couldn’t eat or drink and had nothing to bring up.

It turned out I was one of those people who get psychotic episodes from high doses of steroids. One episode was so bad, prior to hospitalization, that I promised myself I’d commit suicide if it didn’t end in twelve hours.

Strangely, as much physical pain as I experienced, the bad psychotic episodes were worse.