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Walmart’s Great Value Original Fruit Smiles is not exactly a new food, for the recipe has clearly been handed down through fluorescent generations. But given a recent update, they are truly the only fruit snack worth eating. The only fruit snack with substance, tang, and mouthfeel akin to banana flesh combined with a pencil eraser.
In a nondescript orange pouch, I did not believe they would be good. Especially given that they cost just $2.50 a box. But my son pressed a grape smile into his small, warm palm and shoved it through my clenched jaw as I briefly dozed on the sofa with an NFL game on. I involuntarily chewed and felt the snack adhere to my molars on the deepest level, the 70 percent daily value of vitamin C permeating every bone.
These smile-shaped gems are chewy and perfectly dense. Unlike some of these new fruit snacks that are soft, transparent, and aspic-like in texture. These generic babies take me back to recess in the rain, primary colors, and hitting yourself in the shin with a Skip-It on the playground. If you were alive in the 1980s, this is the fructose hit you’re looking for.
“The new Supreme Court ethics code released on Monday looks good on paper, experts in legal ethics said. But only on paper. Its lack of an enforcement mechanism means that it will operate on the honor system, with individual justices deciding for themselves whether their conduct complies with the code.” — New York Times, 11/14/23
Fellow justices, now that we’ve adopted a “new” “ethics” “code,” you may be wondering about compliance. Accordingly, I have composed the following series of scenarios based on past conversations I have had with you. Please note that recusal is still up to you, and there are still no penalties for failure to disclose anything. So, while the below should be taken as strict guidance, you should also be aware, just among us, that you can still do pretty much whatever the hell you want.