Reading
Replace all Department of Education employees with sunglass-wearing dudes filming themselves ranting in pick-up trucks.
Abolish DEI hiring policies and ensure jobs are only given based on nepotism.
School children will start every morning reciting the pledge of allegiance and/or the lyrics of Kid Rock’s “Bawitdaba.”
Outlaw abortions for all Americans, excluding mistresses of Republicans.
The libs have to take Chris Pratt back. We don’t want him either.
Everyone has to stop making fun of my Punisher Thin Blue Line tattoo.
All Americans are entitled to own and carry firearms, provided they are white.
McDonald’s must bring back Mayor McCheese and execute the Hamburglar.
Ban all books, because reading is for nerds.
Girls can no longer refuse to date guys because they’re MAGA, and also, they have to tell them they are handsome and sometimes have to buy them stuff.
To clarify the gender binary, they will be renamed “bangable” and “not bangable.”
1. I’ve put this body through a lot.
2. I’ve done the same routine over and over for years.
3. I wear a nerdy windbreaker.
4. One of my most important goals is getting as much gold as possible.
5. People suspect I’m a different age than I say I am, but no one’s been able to prove it.
6. It takes a lot of product and an almost bizarre number of pins to keep my hair where I want it.
7. At this point, I’m pretty unabashed about picking my wedgie.
8. I have a complicated relationship with bars.
9. I’m always concentrating really hard on not falling.
10. Sometimes it’s the bars that make me fall.
11. I never score as much as I want.
12. There’s a lot of tape on various parts of my toes and feet.
13. The skin on my hands is dry and chalky.
14. Most of my smiles are fake.
15. Anyone who witnesses me exercising on the floor feels nervous, anticipating everything that could go wrong.
16. I have random pain all over my body.
17. Part of my mind is always preoccupied with the next vault I have to clear.
18. I’m constantly bending over backward for everyone.

- by Aeon Video

- by Nick Kabrél
“I shouldn’t have to ask my opponent to condemn his biggest funders for putting out an ad like this.”
The post AIPAC Used Distorted Photo of Cori Bush in $7 Million Negative Ad Blitz appeared first on The Intercept.
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