Times are tough for our industry, and getting tougher. But this studio, home to beloved, timeless stories for over a century, won’t fold while I’m CEO. With a few strategic innovations, we will start the next chapter stronger than ever, ready for any challenge. Except for the challenge of releasing good movies.
I have bold plans for this company, like changing the name of our streaming service, green-lighting so many spin-offs that even I can’t keep track of them, making our theme parks more expensive and difficult to navigate, and inflating share price by announcing confusing, honestly illogical mergers. Also, I recently found out about video games, and they sound very promising. I’m open to novel revenue generators and blue sky ideation—anything to avoid making a good movie.



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