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Alarm clocks and phones have been heard ringing around Toorak, Mosman and the Mornington Peninsula this morning as some of Australia’s worst people have gotten up early to watch the Presidential inauguration. ”What a great day for the World, President... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s plan to alleviate the cost of living crisis by allowing businesses to ‘write-off’ long lunches has caused chaos amongst the Coalition, after the decision was made to exclude booze from being written off. ”Bloody Dutton needs to get... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has launched his party’s plans for the upcoming election at a small gathering on the fringes of Melbourne. The key plank to Donald Dutton’s campaign is his pledge to make Gina, err, Australia great again. ”Australian’s,... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to make it illegal in Australia to sell gingerbread people without baked on genitals, in an effort to combat wokeness. ”I’ve had a bloody gutful, what is... Read More ›

Australia’s part-time Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has threatened Australia’s press to leave him alone over the festive season, and only contact him when it is time to start the annual whinge fest that is how to celebrate Australia Day. ”I’ve... Read More ›

Staff at News Corp Australia have been given Peter Dutton PM inspired vision boards, in lieu of a Christmas bonus, the decision was made with an eye on making sure the whole company kept their eye on the prize coming... Read More ›

The Opposition’s head cheer leader at The Australian, lil’ Simon Benson, has thanked his favourite person in the World, Daddy Dutton, for giving him the scoop on the Coalition’s alleged nuclear plan. ”I love you Daddy Dutton, you’re so much... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged his allegiance to his leader by swearing that from now on he will only wear Australian flag patterned silk boxers. ”I am a man that usually doesn’t... Read More ›

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Niche news channel, Sky News Australia, has popped the champagne corks to celebrate their record breaking year, with news dropping that over 50 people had tuned in to watch the station. ”What a year it has been for Sky News,... Read More ›