auspol

The Coalition have announced today a new policy whereby every Australian will be made to pay a levy, which will cover them in case they offend former Senator Linda Reynolds in anyway in the future. ”A Coalition Government wants to... Read More ›

Australia’s kebab shops have reported a record breaking day of trade last Sunday, following the million moron anti-immigration marches that were held around the country. ”Mate, what a day, we have sold more kebabs today then we have in the... Read More ›

Australia will be getting its very own space agency with plans to mount a mission to put astronauts on the surface of Dubbo within two decades. “Due to the high cost of petrol and the dodgy radiator we will have... Read More ›

Low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has called for a two state solution to solve the problem of those who didn’t vote for the Albanese Government. ”This so-called Government does not have a mandate to speak for me,” said failed... Read More ›

Shadow treasurer, Ted O’Brien, has told reporters that going forward he would like to be referred to by his new nickname, TeOb. He has also asked reporters to start describing him as a bit of a daggy Dad. ”Now that... Read More ›

Shadow Treasurer (for now), Ted O’Brien, has arrived to work late today due to managing to get his tie caught in his briefcase, this is the third time this month that this has happened. ”They’re tricky things ties aren’t they?”... Read More ›

Sky News Australia host, Sharri Markson, has blamed antisemitism for her show’s appallingly low ratings record. ”The Australian people are clearly antisemitic, I mean why else would they not be watching my show?” Asked the host. ”Every night I deliver... Read More ›

Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, was shocked to learn that his appearance on Sharri Markson’s Sky News show was only watched by 10’s of people. The Israeli PM is blaming the low ratings on Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. ”It’s... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader and practicing numerologist, Sussan Ley, has held a press conference to condemn the PM’s decision to say good morning, claiming the statement was offensive to both the afternoon and evening. ”Mr Albanese needs to stop seeking to... Read More ›

Australia is set to meet their target of hitting net zero much earlier than 2050 after scientists managed to figure out how to channel the anger generated from low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, to power the grid. ”It’s early... Read More ›