auspol

A survey of Australian singles has found that a majority would like to find a partner that will love them with the passion that Australia’s media pack loves Opposition leader Peter Dutton. ”It’s amazing how much they love Dutton, despite... Read More ›

Australia’s next Prime Minister, according to the country’s press pack, Peter Dutton, has refused to rule out whether or not he will blow, billionaire Clive Palmer’s trumpet in order to form a minority Government. ”Clive is someone I admire deeply... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, will today mark the anniversary of Kevin Rudd’s apology to the stolen generation by reenacting his infamous walk out and boycott of the initial apology. ”I stand by my boycott of the initial apology and... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Donald Dutton, has reacted angrily to calls to release more polices, screaming at journalists that he will do so as soon as his mentor Donald Trump does. ”The Australian people need to know that I will do... Read More ›

Australia’s leading Trump supporter, Gina Rinehart, has sent President Trump a thank you card, after the US President introduced tariffs on Australian imports of steel and aluminium. ”Donald is an amazing President and I’m sure the tariffs he puts on... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has refused to rule out making New Zealand the 7th State of Australia and is said to also have his eyes on buying West Timor. ”I said yesterday that I view President Trump as a very... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Gina Rinehart, has been heard telling colleagues that she views Coalition Senator, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price, the best Senator that money can buy. ”Gina is a big fan of Jacinta and was so happy when her lap dog,... Read More ›

World leaders have been trying to stay calm whilst seemingly on edge, after it was reported that new American President, Elon Musk, has been seen to be showing a lot of interest in Poland lately. ”They say those that do... Read More ›

Alarm clocks and phones have been heard ringing around Toorak, Mosman and the Mornington Peninsula this morning as some of Australia’s worst people have gotten up early to watch the Presidential inauguration. ”What a great day for the World, President... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s plan to alleviate the cost of living crisis by allowing businesses to ‘write-off’ long lunches has caused chaos amongst the Coalition, after the decision was made to exclude booze from being written off. ”Bloody Dutton needs to get... Read More ›