Insiders

Former Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, has taken some time out from rewriting Australian history to offer some advice to beleaguered opposition leader, Sussan Ley. His advice, to consider knighting Prince Andrew. ”Everyone loves a Royal, so why not bestow upon... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan Ley, has reached out to her rebellious colleague, Barnaby Joyce, to invite him over for a lovely beef wellington dinner. ”Teams squabble from time to time but what good teams do is they always settle their... Read More ›

The member for New England, know for passing out drunk in the streets of Canberra and impregnating a staff member, Barnaby Joyce, has told One Nation and the Nationals to consider him the golden bachelor and start wooing. ”Look, this... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan Ley, has told colleagues that she plans to arrest her falling popularity by adding an extra S to her name. ”People were very interested to hear why I am Sussan, not Susan,” said the interim leader.... Read More ›

Sussan Ley’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has demanded that the Albanese Government hold a parliamentary enquiry into adult star, Bonnie Blue’s 1057 men sex stunt. ”We need to get to the bottom of what this Bonnie Blue... Read More ›

Australian Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, has had his phone number leaked after thieves broke into Redeye records and stole their order book. ”I’m not happy about this,” said the PM. ”Not only is my number out in the open, but... Read More ›

Sussan Ley’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has responded to unrest in the Coalition by urging colleagues to consider an open marriage, or perhaps swinging. ”Monogamy is a thing of the past, we need to get out and... Read More ›

Leader of the National party (for now), David Littleproud, has told his Coalition partners, the Liberals, to forget about winning over the inner city elites and focus on winning over the 2,000 odd voters who live around the back O’... Read More ›

Rogue Coalition backbencher, Andrew ‘friend of Gina’ Hastie, has told his friends (Gina), that he quit Sussan Ley’s cabinet after the Liberal leader demanded that he add an extra S to his surname. ”Yeah, people think it was over the... Read More ›

Former Australian Prime Minister (yep, really), Tony Abbott, has announced that his soon to be released book on Australian history will be printed exclusively in white ink. ”I’m very excited for the people of Australia to get to read a... Read More ›