“Tucker is in a very dark place right now,” a Fox News colleague said. “To be unmasked as an honest person is literally his worst nightmare.”
Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report
The billionaire said that he would personally talk to the Martians and convince them that joining a union would be a mistake that they’ll regret.
The revelation appeared in an official statement released to the American media by an organization calling itself the Intergalactic Command Force.
Mother, who is believed to be Pence’s wife, Karen, was “hopping mad” when he received a subpoena from the special counsel’s office.
“I haven’t touched my hunting rifle in a few years, but handling a gun is like riding a bicycle,” the former Vice-President said.
Musk disclosed that the sensation the Chinese spy balloon has created is making him consider becoming a balloon himself.
The former anchorwoman claimed that she has been calling for the F.B.I. to raid her house for weeks, but to no avail.
“This is what makes Ron DeSantis so dangerous, quite frankly,” he said.
“The Ukrainians have called battle tanks the punching fist of democracy,” Santos said. “I, George Santos, am that fist.”
“Whenever possible, I’d bring Mother,” he said. “But when she wasn’t available I’d hide my face behind classified documents.”