“During his four years as Vice-President, Mike Pence brought flattery and obsequiousness to new heights,” the N.A.A. statement read.
Humor
“I could be wrong, but I vaguely remember that he was maybe this guy lying down on a beach?” a resident of Phoenix said.
“We’re not sure how, but chocolate pudding seems to have seeped into one of the keyboards,” an insider on the matter said. “It’s really gross.”
According to an aide, the campaign considered a shortlist of other foils, including Mickey Rourke, Dennis Rodman, and Ginni Thomas.
“Don’t do it, Ariel!” Florida’s governor was heard bellowing in the back row.
The teacher claimed that she thought it was “O.K.” to show the incendiary film because the character in question was a deer.
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“Your honor, I stand before you, a fictitious character,” the New York congressman proclaimed.
In Washington, the ominous possibility that lies have consequences has sent a chill down the corridors of power.
“I realized I’d better jump on this while there are still some left on the market,” Mike Lindell said.