Humor

After it became clear that math had defeated him once more, the congressman could be heard muttering to himself, “Numbers . . . my old enemy.”

The former anchorwoman accused the Cash Craze machine of being rigged against her and “riddled with fraud.”

The Twitter C.E.O. wrested the title from Donald J. Trump, who had won the honor every year from 2016 to 2021.

“They’re going to count up all the votes and, shazam, whoever got more votes is the winner,” the Republican Senate candidate said. “How is that fair?”

The eighteenth-century document was reportedly found under a stack of hastily packed items, including several pairs of socks and the Oval Office’s television remote.

“Of all of the firms offering big returns on made-up money, this one seemed the most solid,” a resident of London said.

The results reveal that a visceral fear of encountering Musk is what drives eighty-nine per cent of those who follow his movements.