Have you ever time-traveled? I didn’t think I had until that day in the freezer aisle at Horizon Market, staring at an ice cream flavor that seemed like a practical joke: Jeni’s Cosmic Bloom. It sounded like an overpriced candle. The carton teased: “Citric like a mandarin, refreshing like a kiwi, punchy like passion fruit.” That told me absolutely nothing. But the color—a dreamy pastel orange—made my inner child hope, could it be?
I dropped my usual raspberry sorbet and gambled on this pastel-orange mystery. Back home, I tore off the lid, scooped up a perfectly creamy ball, and popped it in my mouth.
Indistinguishable citrus. It had that same syrupy, borderline-fluorescent smell I hadn’t experienced since the early 2000s, a tangy, wildly unnatural orange, radioactive creamsicle. Cosmic Bloom was not trying to pretend it was made of real fruit—something the future ruined with its obsession over real ingredients. It was something else, something familiar.
The second I had a second bite, my kitchen vanished.
Gone.