“At the end of the day, the problem is the human heart. It’s not guns. It’s not the weapons.” — Speaker of the House Mike Johnson
The problem is the human finger. Fingers are too well-engineered to fit around the trigger of an assault weapon. On other planets, life forms have fingers with no joints that are only straight. You don’t hear about gun violence on any of those planets.
The problem is the human hand. If hands did not have four fingers and a thumb, you would not be able to put a gun into the human hand. And more importantly, no one could use a phone to call for help, so we would never have to hear about all this unpleasantness.
The problem is the human arm. Humans could probably get by just fine with a big cupholder in the front instead of arms. Cupholder-humans would be a superior life-form, and guns would exist in abstract space, harming absolutely no one.
