Art by Matt Smith
So this one day, Raven-Floki woke up at home in fuckin’ Nahway n’ he was like, “Shit, I need tah go n’ find that new island that that Gardar guy was talkin’ ’bout ’cause it sounds fuckin’ sweet!” N’ this is on accoun’ah the fact that Gardar’d been blowin’ smoke up evuhryone’s ass ‘bout this damn island. Like, he just couldn’t stop talkin’ ’bout how it’s covah’d in shit-tons’ah top quality lumbah r’n wicked good fahmin’ land too. N’ yah know how Nahwegians ahr, they really get off on tree wood n’ fehrtile fuckin’ soil n’ shit.


