Smile? Of course I know how to smile. Smiling is a basic facial expression that normal human beings make dozens of times a day without even thinking about it. And I’m definitely a normal human being who smiles on a regular basis.
Oh, you mean smile right now? For the camera? Uh, sure, no problem! Just give me a minute to get into the right pose. What kind of smile are we going for here? Like, did someone tell a joke that’s kind of dumb, but I’m trying to be polite? Or am I a minimum-wage worker who’s really excited to welcome the next person in line to this Subway sandwich bar? Or is this a gesture of peace, where I’m a fifth-century Saxon warrior approaching a rival Frankish tribe, and I want to show that I’m not hiding weapons between my teeth? A little direction on this whole smiling thing would help. I don’t want to overdo it and look like a serial killer. Or underdo it and look like a serial killer.
Why are you looking at me like that? Is it because I’m thinking about serial killers? Oh god, can you tell from my face that I’m thinking about serial killers? I’ll stop thinking about serial killers.