Friends, administrative coordinators, benefits-eligible staff: lend me your ears.
There comes a time in every hero’s journey when they must face their worst fear. I sought an office job, and the gods granted my wish. But this wish came with a cursed stipulation. My new employer cannot see how they have crushed my dreams of glory. Still, I must soldier on; I cannot keep myself alive whilst maintaining my dignity, and I cannot resist the call. If I want to keep this perfectly fine, well-paying job in administration, I must confront my worst enemy, my prophesized foe—the greatest of all evils.
I must write the department newsletter.
When I graduated, I swore to myself upon the grave of my degree that I would never fall into the clutches of marketing or editing. My peers each donated their youth to the beast, as they found work only in social media management and copywriting. Somehow, though, I evaded it. I had worked in libraries for years, narrowly avoiding the fate my peers undertook—by scanning returned books and answering reference questions.
