Reading
As we all know, we live in an era of monumental change. We’ve always prided ourselves on being at the forefront of growth, which is why today, we’re thrilled to publicly announce that Mom has been acquired by Omnimomcorp, creating the premier partnership in unconditional love and updates on what the dog ate all day.
Since 1990, Mom has set out to create a wonderful, nurturing environment for you to grow up in. She’s had the ability to do nine things at once, made sure you went to enough museums and movies, and never said “I told you so” regarding your dud college boyfriend. Now imagine all the incredible things Mom has to offer, paired with Omnimomcorp’s unmatched pearls of wisdom.
If you’re reading this, you purchased a Snapple manufactured in July of last year. During that time, our computers were down. Since we’re not Dr. Pepper (or Diet Dr. Pepper), we have to rely on fun facts on the undersides of our bottle caps to get people to buy our products. And without computers, our writers had to come up with facts they knew to be true without the ability to fact-check them.
While all the facts printed were true, we must retract the following Snapple Facts as they are not quite interesting enough to live up to the standard we set for ourselves:
So, Trump has threatened, most of the world, including most Germany and much of Europe, with 25% tariff rates. Under Biden, with the destruction of three of the four underseas pipelines from Russia to Europe, along with sanctions, Germany in particular and Europe in general have been losing energy-price sensitive industry to America. They close down in Europe, they open up in the US. Natural gas from America is much more expensive than Russian gas.
- by Aeon Video
- by Cynda Hylton Rushton
- by Christoph Heine