Dear Educator,
As you are aware, your state legislature has mandated that the Ten Commandments be displayed in all publicly funded classrooms. Those funds are, of course, inadequate to equip and compensate you and your colleagues, thanks in part to your administration’s strategic investment of said funds in AI learning tools that empower you with the illusion of assistance with your unmanageably large class sizes. Happily, the cost of the Ten Commandments poster for your classroom will not be deducted from your paycheck as originally suggested by your state’s joint education committee; instead, please accept the enclosed complementary poster in token of our appreciation for your compulsory use of our learning management system.
Sincerely,
Algorithmic Syndicate of Heuristic Technologies Optimized for Radical Education Telemetric Hegemony (ASHTORETH)