1. Open the event with some pleasantries, perhaps a quick lighting of the holiday candles. Feel free to say a few blessings. A quick note: This will be the only time you should NOT bring up 1999’s soup-to-nuts, flawless film Blue Streak, starring Martin Lawrence at the absolute pinnacle of his movie stardom.
2. Despite the joyous get-together, it’s now time for one of your relatives to discuss the most morbid event of the past year. Stay poised as it is nearly the moment to lament how so few films nowadays can duplicate Blue Streak’s brisk but enjoyable ninety-three-minute run time.
3. Just as Uncle Kenny says, “Speaking of anniversaries,” you interrupt, marveling at how it’s been twenty-five years since you first saw a certain two-hander starring Martin Lawrence and Luke Wilson at the White Flint Mall Cineplex in Bethesda, Maryland.