My neighbor Craig is a prepper. For years, he’s been telling me the world is coming to an end, and for years, I’ve been ignoring him. Then one day I saw him digging with a shovel in his backyard. The bank gave him a second mortgage, he told me, and he was going to build a bunker forty feet beneath the earth. I accidentally laughed at him, and the two of us haven’t spoken since.
But then ChatGPT was released, and there were all these articles about AI taking over the world. And then Trump was running for president again, and that Ohio Senator called for a civil war if Trump loses. And then I saw an Instagram post speculating that Coscto was encouraging consumers to stock up for the apocalypse, because they were selling Readywise Emergency Food Buckets, and it dawned on me that maybe Craig was right. Maybe I should be preparing.
My credit rating is, according to Equifax, fucking abysmal, so I knew a bunker bank loan was out of the equation. But I do have a Costco card, and I figured the least I could do to prepare for the End Times was drive over to Costco and buy my own Readywise Emergency Food Bucket.