With apologies to Three Dog Night.
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In the wake of recent events, we feel it’s time to speak up. We’ve heard your calls for a statement on the subject of Jeremiah, a bullfrog we’ve long referred to as our friend. Your comments, your direct messages, and your anthrax threats have all prompted us to take action.
Last week, Jeremiah the Bullfrog was convicted of severely harmful crimes and was sentenced to life in prison. Please believe us when we tell you that we were as shocked as you to learn of what could at best be described as a lapse in judgment, and at worst as a psychotic and unfrogivable series of misdeeds.
We initially kept our silence to keep from shifting the spotlight away from the victims and to allow justice to run its course. Now that the trial has ended in a conviction, we feel it’s time to share a truth that has troubled us for a long time:
Jeremiah was, in fact, a mere acquaintance.