In this column, professional speechwriter Chandler Dean provides partly satirical, partly genuine “How To” advice focused on a hyper-specific subcategory of speeches—from graduation speeches to wedding toasts to eulogies, and all the rhetorical occasions in between.
Writing is already hard when everything is fine. But often, things are bad. Sometimes, for example, someone has died. And as if that person’s loved ones haven’t suffered enough, they are soon subjected to an afternoon of inexperienced public speaking.
Fundamentally, the process of writing a eulogy is surreal. For any other life event where you have to give a speech, no one would ever encourage you to wait until that week to start writing.