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In this column, professional speechwriter Chandler Dean provides partly satirical, partly genuine “How To” advice focused on a hyper-specific subcategory of speeches—from graduation speeches to wedding toasts to eulogies, and all the rhetorical occasions in between.

Hey, guess what? Show-and-tell is coming up. That’s one of the best days of kindergarten ever. And that means you’ll be giving your very first speech of your whole life. (Unless you were valedictorian of your preschool, in which case I loved that inspiring story you told at commencement about how one time the cafeteria only had regular milk instead of chocolate milk, but you didn’t even cry.)

Here’s how to get an A+.

Bring something you think is awesome.

Trump’s persona is not even “truthful hyperbole” Ahead of the 2016 election Donald Trump won, The New York Times cited a now-famous paragraph from Donald Trump’s ghost-written “The Art of the Deal.” David Barstow wrote: “I call it truthful hyperbole. It’s an innocent form of exaggeration — and a very effective form of promotion.” For example, in the now-infamous Trump University litigation, Mr. Trump was asked in a deposition about a script that had been prepared for Trump University instructors. According to the script, the instructors were supposed to tell their students the following: “I remember one time Mr. Trump said to us over dinner, he said, ‘Real estate is the only market that, when there’s a sale going on, people run from the store.’ You don’t want to run from the store.” No such dinners ever took place, Mr. Trump acknowledged. In fact, Mr. Trump struggled to identify a single one of the instructors he claimed to have handpicked, even after he was shown their photographs. Nonetheless, Mr.

We had a joke back in the Bush Jr. administration.

“Evil or stupid? Why not both?”

Bush Jr. was clearly mentally challenged. Cheney was supposedly smart, but he was the type of smart guy who winds up ordering the charge of the Light Brigade: great at internal politics, worthless at anything else.

Biden’s clearly senile (no, don’t even). Trump’s somewhat better, but still makes mistakes frequently and is often incoherent.. We used to sneer at the Soviet politburo of the 70s and 80s, but this worse.

Government cuts post-Brexit have led to drastic cuts in foreign aid and the selling-off of embassies. Much of the chaos is Boris Johnson's fault, writes Iain Overton

Your dummy Uncle Tim is getting married at sixty-four. His wedding is sure to be a bore. But have no fear, because when those church bells go ringing and Tim’s at the altar smooching, you’ll be in the third row bumping your head, earbuds in, listening to those Dune tunes. Dune: Part Two tunes to be precise. Man, oh man, does Hans Zimmer rock it with those Dune tunes. Guitar riffs and sonic booms. He takes you straight to Dune, riding sandworms in the heat of noon.

Later, when you go to that buffoon Uncle Tim’s reception, and you’re sitting at the rejects table, with all the kids and the goons, you’ll be swinging around a spoon while listening to those Dune tunes. Because the spoon’s a sword and Harkonnens are raiding your ship. All aboard! And the kids will stare and laugh, but you’ll be too busy watching Paul Atreides’s back. Paul’s the chosen one, that’s for sure. Just ask Stilgar and the desert ladies. Hail Atreides!

Serco and G4S overcharged the Ministry of Justice for the same service – then the MOJ tried to hide from the House of Lords that it gave both firms new contracts

In today's BCTV Daily Dispatch: SNL, Alien, X-Men '97, Kevin Conroy, My Adventures with Superman, Doctor Who, Yellowjackets, and more!

Byline Times has spotted four more instances of questionable data collection by parliamentary candidates. Can you help this newspaper find more?

Complex economies embedded in the biosphere with the commons restored – Part 1 Geoff Davies How can we construct an economics consistent with the biophysical…

New evidence suggests that Murdoch's company targeted politicians of every rank, including the Attorney General and Chancellor

The billionaire Warren Buffet famously said once, ‘There’s class warfare, all right, but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning.’  New analysis released by Oxfam this week for International Workers’ Day shows concretely that since 2020, the rich class, as Buffet calls them, are winning big. Global dividend payments to […]

‘New Keynesian’ unemployment — a paid vacation essentially! Lars P. Syll Both Real Business Cycle and New Keynesian models see unemployment as an accidental and…

‘60 per cent community, 40 per cent skateboarding’ – a portrait of London’s growing skate scene on animated sketchbook pages

- by Aeon Video

Watch at Aeon

The famed scholar on why reducing Hamas to a terrorist label sanctions Israel’s war on Palestinians.

The post Judith Butler Will Not Co-Sign Israel’s Alibi for Genocide appeared first on The Intercept.

No matter your culinary skills, spend some reflective time in the kitchen to nourish and renew your sense of self

- by Charlotte Hastings

Read at Psyche

MMT sees America through rapid economic recovery Stephanie Kelton and Steven Hail Modern monetary theory has been influential in helping America rise out of the…

Wall Street landlords face a heartland backlash that could set off a revolution.

Can transplants help Caribbean corals avert collapse?

The post A Radical Rescue for Caribbean Reefs appeared first on Nautilus.