Opposition leader (for now), Sussan Ley, has promised to add an extra S to her name in an effort to turn around her shockingly low polling numbers. ”To the people of Australia, I have listened and I have learnt, you... Read More ›
Sky News
Aspiring Opposition leader, Andrew Hastie, has demanded that his Coalition colleagues commit to net-zero Sussan Leys or else he will take his bat and ball and go home. ”As a party we are done for if we don’t commit to... Read More ›
The Opposition’s shadow minister for Home Affairs, Andrew Hastie, has taken some time out of his day, which was definitely not spent on the phone talking numbers, to tell the press that he is ambitious for his leader Sussan Ley.... Read More ›
Former Victorian Premier, Dan Andrews, has been forced to flee to communist China to escape the obsessives at News Corp who continue to report his every move, despite the Premier being out of the public spotlight. ”It’s not ideal that... Read More ›
The Coalition have announced today a new policy whereby every Australian will be made to pay a levy, which will cover them in case they offend former Senator Linda Reynolds in anyway in the future. ”A Coalition Government wants to... Read More ›
Australia’s kebab shops have reported a record breaking day of trade last Sunday, following the million moron anti-immigration marches that were held around the country. ”Mate, what a day, we have sold more kebabs today then we have in the... Read More ›
Shadow Treasurer (for now), Ted O’Brien, has arrived to work late today due to managing to get his tie caught in his briefcase, this is the third time this month that this has happened. ”They’re tricky things ties aren’t they?”... Read More ›
Interim Opposition leader and practicing numerologist, Sussan Ley, has held a press conference to condemn the PM’s decision to say good morning, claiming the statement was offensive to both the afternoon and evening. ”Mr Albanese needs to stop seeking to... Read More ›
The party of attention seeking racists, otherwise known as One Nation, have unsurprisingly chosen the opening of parliament to do something racist, by turning their backs on the acknowledgement of country. ”After the election Labor doesn’t really need us to... Read More ›
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told colleagues that he will defy the Coalition and seek to introduce a private member’s bill that will repeal the net zero bonk ban. ”Australians have had a gutful of... Read More ›