Exiled Liberal, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price, has spoken up in defence of her colleague, Andrew Hastie, after he called unnamed members of the Coalition Muppets. With Senator Price saying that she would have called them worse. ”I feel that Andrew was... Read More ›
Sussan Ley
Opposition leader (for now), Sussan Ley, has promised to add an extra S to her name in an effort to turn around her shockingly low polling numbers. ”To the people of Australia, I have listened and I have learnt, you... Read More ›
Aspiring Opposition leader, Andrew Hastie, has demanded that his Coalition colleagues commit to net-zero Sussan Leys or else he will take his bat and ball and go home. ”As a party we are done for if we don’t commit to... Read More ›
The Coalition’s pick for Australian Mother of the year, Gina Rinehart, has been heard gushing about Coalition MP, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price, describing her as the best politician that money can buy. ”Gina is a big Jacinta fan, she loves anyone... Read More ›
Low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has called upon their viewers, all six of them, to get out and protest the sacking of Jacinta Nampijinpa Price from Sussan Ley’s cabinet. ”Jacinta is the future of the Liberal party,” declared Sky... Read More ›
The Opposition’s shadow minister for Home Affairs, Andrew Hastie, has taken some time out of his day, which was definitely not spent on the phone talking numbers, to tell the press that he is ambitious for his leader Sussan Ley.... Read More ›
Shadow treasurer, Ted O’Brien, has told reporters that going forward he would like to be referred to by his new nickname, TeOb. He has also asked reporters to start describing him as a bit of a daggy Dad. ”Now that... Read More ›
Shadow Treasurer (for now), Ted O’Brien, has arrived to work late today due to managing to get his tie caught in his briefcase, this is the third time this month that this has happened. ”They’re tricky things ties aren’t they?”... Read More ›
Interim Opposition leader and practicing numerologist, Sussan Ley, has held a press conference to condemn the PM’s decision to say good morning, claiming the statement was offensive to both the afternoon and evening. ”Mr Albanese needs to stop seeking to... Read More ›
Australian election result denialists, Sky News, have spent the day ranting and raving over how the Coalition needs to move further to the right, following the release of the first post-election news poll which has the Coalition doing worse than... Read More ›