Sussan Ley

The moderate wing of the Coalition (apparently they exist), have told anyone who’ll listen, that they may bend over and accept the party dropping net-zero but they won’t be happy. ”It’s time that our colleagues start listening to what we... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan ”SS” Ley, has demanded that the Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, release the details of what colour underwear he is wearing on a daily basis. ”The Prime Minister needs to stop being so secretive and reveal all... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan ”SS” Ley, has condemned Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, after the PM was spotted in a Joy Division t-shirt that he had not sought approval from Sky news Australia to wear. ”I don’t step out of the... Read More ›

The National party has held a press conference over the weekend to tell the Nation that they are committed to bringing back leaded petrol. They have told their junior Coalition colleagues, the Liberals, that this is non-negotiable. ”Australia rest assured... Read More ›

Former Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, has taken some time out from rewriting Australian history to offer some advice to beleaguered opposition leader, Sussan Ley. His advice, to consider knighting Prince Andrew. ”Everyone loves a Royal, so why not bestow upon... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan Ley, has reached out to her rebellious colleague, Barnaby Joyce, to invite him over for a lovely beef wellington dinner. ”Teams squabble from time to time but what good teams do is they always settle their... Read More ›

The member for New England, know for passing out drunk in the streets of Canberra and impregnating a staff member, Barnaby Joyce, has told One Nation and the Nationals to consider him the golden bachelor and start wooing. ”Look, this... Read More ›

Drunk adulterer, Barnaby Joyce, is tipped to be named as heir apparent to racist bigot Pauline Hanson as leader of the fringe band of lunatics that is One Nation. ”Pauline has done a fantastic job of building up One Nation... Read More ›

Interim Nationals leader, David Littleproud, has reached out to disgruntled backbencher, Barnaby Joyce, to offer him an olive branch in the form of an exemption from the bonk ban if he stays with the Nationals. ”We know that Barnaby was... Read More ›

Niche cable TV channel, Sky News Australia, has demanded that their viewers, all 6 of them, write to the Prime Minister and demand that US Ambassador Kevin Rudd be relieved of his duties. ”Kevin Rudd’s position is untenable,” said Sky... Read More ›