Nationals

The moderate wing of the Coalition (apparently they exist), have told anyone who’ll listen, that they may bend over and accept the party dropping net-zero but they won’t be happy. ”It’s time that our colleagues start listening to what we... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan ”SS” Ley, has demanded that the Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, release the details of what colour underwear he is wearing on a daily basis. ”The Prime Minister needs to stop being so secretive and reveal all... Read More ›

The National party has held a press conference over the weekend to tell the Nation that they are committed to bringing back leaded petrol. They have told their junior Coalition colleagues, the Liberals, that this is non-negotiable. ”Australia rest assured... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan Ley, has reached out to her rebellious colleague, Barnaby Joyce, to invite him over for a lovely beef wellington dinner. ”Teams squabble from time to time but what good teams do is they always settle their... Read More ›

The member for New England, know for passing out drunk in the streets of Canberra and impregnating a staff member, Barnaby Joyce, has told One Nation and the Nationals to consider him the golden bachelor and start wooing. ”Look, this... Read More ›

Sussan Ley’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has responded to unrest in the Coalition by urging colleagues to consider an open marriage, or perhaps swinging. ”Monogamy is a thing of the past, we need to get out and... Read More ›

Rogue Coalition backbencher, Andrew ‘friend of Gina’ Hastie, has told his friends (Gina), that he quit Sussan Ley’s cabinet after the Liberal leader demanded that he add an extra S to his surname. ”Yeah, people think it was over the... Read More ›

Exiled Liberal, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price, has spoken up in defence of her colleague, Andrew Hastie, after he called unnamed members of the Coalition Muppets. With Senator Price saying that she would have called them worse. ”I feel that Andrew was... Read More ›

Aspiring Opposition leader, Andrew Hastie, has demanded that his Coalition colleagues commit to net-zero Sussan Leys or else he will take his bat and ball and go home. ”As a party we are done for if we don’t commit to... Read More ›

The Coalition have announced today a new policy whereby every Australian will be made to pay a levy, which will cover them in case they offend former Senator Linda Reynolds in anyway in the future. ”A Coalition Government wants to... Read More ›