Gina Rinehart

Low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has taken a moment away from celebrating the LNP’s Queensland election win to discuss how much bigger the win would’ve been had the party moved further right. ”A win is good but you know... Read More ›

Opposition leader and Australia’s next Prime Minister according to Sky News, Peter Dutton, has celebrated the news that he has risen in the polls by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”As a politician you work hard and... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has demanded a revamp of the Australian Maths syllabus to ensure that more emphasis is put on division. ”It is totally unacceptable that the average Australian kid leaves school knowing how to add and multiply but... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has called on the Government to look into the issue of shrinkflation. Namely the shrinkflation he gets whilst swimming. ”Albo’s keen to get out their and tackle shrinkflation, fair... Read More ›

Australia’s de facto Prime Minister, according to the ABC and News Corp, Peter Dutton, has today issued an edict that when he becomes official PM he will anoint low-rating Sky News Australia host, Peta Credlin, Governor General of Australia. ”Peta... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, fresh off verbally abusing an ABC reporter after they dared ask him a question, has demanded that all ABC staff hand over their lunch money to their peers (sic) at Sky News Australia. ”These ABC journalists... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Donald Dutton, has demanded that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese immediately get his Government to conduct an audit of the Nation’s cats and dogs to be sure that none are being eaten by immigrants. ”If it’s happening in... Read More ›

This afternoon King Charles, a dude who once told his sidepiece that he’d like to identify as a Tampon, will visit Australia. The trip will be paid for by the Australian taxpayer in what is said to be a boon... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, made sure to thank his traditional owner, Gina Rinehart, before delivering his speech at the Bush Summit that was held this week. ”I’m an old fashioned bloke who believes... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s muse, Gina Rinehart, has declared that Australia would be a much better place if it were all mine. In an off camera rant, allegedly recorded at a McDonald’s drive thru. ”I stand by what I said, this country... Read More ›