Gina Rinehart

Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has taken time away from his little American Vacation to lecture the Australian media on the need for the country to look at greater potato peeler control laws. ”We live in a country that is... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, fresh off releasing no new details of his nuclear power policy, has reacted angrily to all those against the policy (sic) saying: ”let them eat yellow cake.” ”Bloody Greenies, inner city elite and the so-called journalists... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that the nuclear energy plan that the Coalition’s traditional owner, Gina Rinehart, has been working on is finally ready to be released to the public. ”Gina’s a very busy person, what with looking... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has celebrated his success over the weekend in overtaking Prime Minister Anthony Albanese in the polls by heading to his local pet store and strangling a basket of puppies. ”It’s important that we don’t just dwell... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has launched a nation wide campaign to encourage all Australians to pull out. ”Trust me, I know the consequences of not pulling out,” said the member for New England.... Read More ›

The Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has refused to rule out National service in Australia for those aged 40 and under. The move follows UK PM (as of publishing), Rishi Sunak, promising to introduce National service in the UK... Read More ›

The Coalition’s junior member, the National party, have come out today demanding that the Albanese Government bring back leaded petrol. ”What sort of weak minded individual is Albo that he has a problem with lead?” Asked the National’s chief agitator... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader (yep,really), Peter Dutton, is tipped to announce this week that fictional character Homer Simpson will be his new nuclear advisor in the run up to the next election. ”Homer Simpson brings a lot to the table,” said... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has written to the Prime Minister to ask that the next sitting of parliament be delayed, as Gina Rinehart needs her cat fed. ”The Prime Minister should do the right thing and delay parliament... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now), lil’ Petey Dutton, has chucked an epic tantrum, taking his bat and ball and going home to his room, following his humiliating loss at the weekend’s Dunkley by-election. ”Yeah, Petey is taking this one really hard,”... Read More ›