Gina Rinehart

Australian Opposition leader, Donald Dutton, has demanded that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese immediately get his Government to conduct an audit of the Nation’s cats and dogs to be sure that none are being eaten by immigrants. ”If it’s happening in... Read More ›

This afternoon King Charles, a dude who once told his sidepiece that he’d like to identify as a Tampon, will visit Australia. The trip will be paid for by the Australian taxpayer in what is said to be a boon... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, made sure to thank his traditional owner, Gina Rinehart, before delivering his speech at the Bush Summit that was held this week. ”I’m an old fashioned bloke who believes... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s muse, Gina Rinehart, has declared that Australia would be a much better place it were all mine. In an off camera rant, allegedly recorded at a McDonald’s drive thru. ”I stand by what I say, this country should... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has come out in defence of his shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, after the member for New England spent parliamentary question time throwing slurs and abuse at the Prime Minister. ”Gina Rinehart thinks very... Read More ›

Australia has reacted strongly to news overnight that an Olympic hockey player has been caught trying to purchase cocaine. With the majority of people stunned to learn that the athlete could actually afford the cocaine. ”Mate, aren’t these guys always... Read More ›

Opposition leader and part-time member for Dixon, Peter Dutton, has made an emergency dash to Paris after mining magnate, Gina Rinehart, complained that her shoes need cleaning. ”Gina is such an important person and I pledge that any Government I... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has sent a letter to organisers of the Garma festival that he will not be attending this year as he needs to stay at home and wash his hair. ”As Opposition leader you are kept very... Read More ›

Newly married billionaire, Rupert Murdoch, has told acquaintances that he is regretting talking to fellow billionaire parent, Gina Rinehart, about what to do with his kids. ”Bloody Gina, told me not to talk to my kids but rather take ’em... Read More ›

Unpopular Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has held a press conference today where he warned the Nation’s journalists to stop asking him questions over his nuclear plans, or he would punch them directly in the throat. ”Where do these journalists... Read More ›