Gina Rinehart

National treasure (yep, he officially is), Clive Palmer, has been seen walking aimlessly around Indooroopilly shopping centre trying to decide what to splash his cash on now that spending money on politicians is no longer an option. ”Poor Clive, he... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s traditional owner, Gina Rinehart, has put the call out to all the swimmers she ‘sponsors’ to ask if one of them could be so kind as to start a podcast. Preferably a podcast similar in style and reach... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s traditional owner, Gina Rinehart, has taken time out of her Donald Trump themed celebrations to get on the phone and demand that her favourite toy, Dutton, get an orange spray tan ASAP. ”As leader of the Coalition I... Read More ›

Australia’s richest women, who is still in contact with one of her four children, Gina Rinehart, has come out strongly to defend beleaguered Opposition leader, Peter Dutton. Declaring him the best politician in Australia that money could buy. ”Peter is... Read More ›

Low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has taken a moment away from celebrating the LNP’s Queensland election win to discuss how much bigger the win would’ve been had the party moved further right. ”A win is good but you know... Read More ›

Opposition leader and Australia’s next Prime Minister according to Sky News, Peter Dutton, has celebrated the news that he has risen in the polls by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”As a politician you work hard and... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has demanded a revamp of the Australian Maths syllabus to ensure that more emphasis is put on division. ”It is totally unacceptable that the average Australian kid leaves school knowing how to add and multiply but... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has called on the Government to look into the issue of shrinkflation. Namely the shrinkflation he gets whilst swimming. ”Albo’s keen to get out their and tackle shrinkflation, fair... Read More ›

Australia’s de facto Prime Minister, according to the ABC and News Corp, Peter Dutton, has today issued an edict that when he becomes official PM he will anoint low-rating Sky News Australia host, Peta Credlin, Governor General of Australia. ”Peta... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, fresh off verbally abusing an ABC reporter after they dared ask him a question, has demanded that all ABC staff hand over their lunch money to their peers (sic) at Sky News Australia. ”These ABC journalists... Read More ›